Act 4, Scene III

Scene: The Roman Camp.

Enter NIGER, GETA, Guard, and Soldiers, with ensigns.

Niger.  
How do you like your entrance to the war?
When the whole body of the army moves,
Shews it not gloriously?
Geta.  
'Tis a fine May-game;
But eating and drinking, I think, are forbade in't;
(I mean, with leisure) we walk on, and feed
Like hungry boys that haste to school; or, as
We carried fish to the city, dare stay no where,
For fear our ware should stink.
1 Guard.
That's the necessity
Of our speedy march.
Geta.  
Sir, I do love my ease,
And though I hate all seats of judicature,
I mean in the city, for conveniency,
I still will be a justice in the war,
And ride upon my foot-cloth. I hope a captain
(And a gown'd captain too) may be dispensed with.
I tell you (and do not mock me), when I was poor,
I could endure, like others, cold and hunger;
But since I grew rich, let but my finger ache,
Or feel but the least pain in my great toe,
Unless I have a doctor, mine own doctor,
That may assure me, I am gone.
Niger.  
Come, fear not;
You shall want nothing.
1 Guard.
We will make you fight
As you were mad.
Geta.  
Not too much of fighting, friend;
It is thy trade, that art a common soldier;
We officers, by our place, may share the spoil,
And never sweat for't.
2 Guard.
You shall kill, for practice,
But your dozen or two a-day.
Geta.  
Thou talk'st as if
Thou wert lousing thyself; but yet I will make danger;
If I prove one o' th' worthies, so: However,
I'll have the fear of the gods before my eyes,
And do no hurt, I warrant you.
Niger.  
Come, march on,
And humour him for our mirth.
1 Guard.
'Tis a fine pea-goose.
Niger.  
But one that fools to the emperor, and, in that,
A wise man, and a soldier.
1 Guard.
True morality!
[Exeunt.