Act 5, Scene II

Scene: Before La Castre's House.

Enter MIRABEL, NANTOLET, and LA CASTRE.

La Castre.
Will you be wilful then?
Mirabel.
Pray, sir, your pardon;
For I must travel. Lie lazy here,
Bound to a wife? chain'd to her subtleties,
Her humours, and her wills, which are mere fetters?
To have her to-day pleased, to-morrow peevish,
The third day mad, the fourth rebellious?
You see, before they are married, what moriscoes,
What masques and mummeries they put upon us:
To be tied here, and suffer their lavoltas!
Nantolet.
'Tis your own seeking.
Mirabel.
Yes, to get my freedom.
Were they as I could wish 'em——
La Castre.
Fools and meacocks,
To endure what you think fit to put upon 'em!
Come, change your mind.
Mirabel.
Not before I have changed air, father.
When I know women worthy of my company,
I will return again and wait upon 'em;
Till then, dear sir, I'll amble all the world over,
And run all hazards, misery, and poverty,
So I escape the dangerous bay of matrimony!

Enter BELLEUR and PINAC.

Pinac.
Are you resolved?
Mirabel.
Yes, certain; I will out again.
Pinac.
We are for you, sir; we are your servants once more
Once more we'll seek our fortune in strange countries:
Ours is too scornful for us.
Belleur.
Is there ne'er a land
That you have read, or heard of (for I care not how far it be,
Nor under what pestiferous star it lies),
A happy kingdom, where there are no women?
Nor have been ever? nor no mention
Of any such lewd things, with lewder qualities?
For thither would I travel; where 'tis felony
To confess he had a mother; a mistress treason.
La Castre.
Are you for travel too?
Belleur.
For anything,
For living in the moon, and stopping hedges,
Ere I stay here to be abused, and baffled.
Nantolet.
Why did you not break your minds to me? they are my daughters;
And sure I think I should have that command over 'em,
To see 'em well bestow'd. I know ye are gentlemen,
Men of fair parts and states; I know your parents;
And had ye told me of your fair affections——
Make but one trial more, and let me second ye.
Belleur.
No; I'll make hob-nails first, and mend old kettles!
Can you lend me an armour of high proof, to appear in,
And two or three field-pieces to defend me?
The king's guard are mere pigmies.
Nantolet.
They'll not eat you.
Belleur.
Yes, and you too, and twenty fatter monsieurs,
If their high stomachs hold: They came with chopping-knives,
To cut me into rands and sirloins, and so powder me.—
Come, shall we go?
Nantolet.
You cannot be so discourteous,
If ye intend to go, as not to visit 'em,
And take your leaves.
Mirabel.
That we dare do, and civilly,
And thank 'em too.
Pinac.
Yes, sir, we know that honesty.
Belleur.
I'll come i' th' rear, forty foot off, I'll assure you,
With a good gun in my hand; I'll no more Amazons,
I mean no more of their frights: I'll make my three legs,
Kiss my hand twice, and if I smell no danger,
If the interview be clear, may be I'll speak to her;
I'll wear a privy coat too, and behind me,
To make those parts secure, a bandog.
La Castre.
You are a merry gentleman.
Belleur.
A wary gentleman, I do assure you;
I have been warn'd, and must be arm'd.
La Castre.
Well, son,
These are your hasty thoughts; when I see you are bent to it,
Then I'll believe, and join with you; so we'll leave ye.
There is a trick will make ye stay.
[Exit.
Nantolet.
I hope so.
[Exit.
Mirabel.
We have won immortal fame now, if we leave 'em.
Pinac.
You have, but we have lost.
Mirabel.
Pinac, thou art cozen'd;
I know they love you; and to gain you handsomely,
Not to be thought to yield, they would give millions:
Their father's willingness, that must needs show you.
Pinac.
If I thought so——
Mirabel.
You shall be hang'd, you recreant!
Would you turn renegado now?
Belleur.
No; let's away, boys,
Out of the air and tumult of their villainies.
Though I were married to that grasshopper,
And had her fast by th' legs, I should think she would cozen me.

Enter a young Man, disguised as a Factor.

Factor.
Monsieur Mirabel, I take it?
Mirabel.
You are i' th' right, sir.
Factor.
I am come to seek you, sir; I have been at your father's,
And understanding you were here——
Mirabel.
You are welcome.
May I crave your name?
Factor.
Fosse, sir, and your servant.
That you may know me better, I am factor
To your old merchant, Leverdure.
Mirabel.
How does he?
Factor.
Well, sir, I hope; he is now at Orleans,
About some business.
Mirabel.
You are once more welcome.
Your master's a right honest man, and one
I am much beholding to, and must very shortly
Trouble his love again.
Factor.
You may be bold, sir.
Mirabel.
Your business, if you please now?
Factor.
This it is, sir.
I know you well remember, in your travel,
A Genoa merchant——
Mirabel.
I remember many.
Factor.
But this man, sir, particularly; your own benefit
Must needs imprint him in you; one Alberto,
A gentleman you saved from being murder'd
A little from Bologna:
I was then myself in Italy, and supplied you;
Though happily you have forgot me now.
Mirabel.
No, I remember you,
And that Alberto too; a noble gentleman.
More to remember were to thank myself, sir.
What of that gentleman?
Factor.
He's dead.
Mirabel.
I am sorry.
Factor.
But on his death-bed, leaving to his sister
All that he had, beside some certain jewels
(Which, with a ceremony, he bequeathed to you,
In grateful memory), he commanded strictly
His sister, as she loved him and his peace,
To see those jewels safe and true deliver'd,
And, with them, his last love. She, as tender to
Observe this will, not trusting friend nor servant
With such a weight, is come herself to Paris,
And at my master's house.
Mirabel.
You tell me a wonder.
Factor.
I tell you a truth, sir. She is young and handsome,
And well attended; of much state and riches;
So loving and obedient to her brother,
That, on my conscience, if he had given her also,
She would most willingly have made her tender.
Mirabel.
May not I see her?
Factor.
She desires it heartily.
Mirabel.
And presently?
Factor.
She is now about some business,
Passing accounts of some few debts here owing,
And buying jewels of a merchant.
Mirabel.
Is she wealthy?
Factor.
I would you had her, sir, at all adventure:
Her brother had a main state.
Mirabel.
And fair too?
Factor.
The prime of all those parts of Italy,
For beauty and for courtesy.
Mirabel.
I must needs see her.
Factor.
'Tis all her business, sir. You may now see her;
But to-morrow will be fitter for your visitation,
For she's not yet prepared.
Mirabel.
Only her sight, sir:
And, when you shall think fit, for further visit.
Factor.
Sir, you may see her, and I'll wait your coming.
Mirabel.
And I'll be with ye instantly. I know the house;
Meantime, my love, and thanks, sir!
Factor.
Your poor servant.
[Exit.
Pinac.
Thou hast the strangest luck! What was that Alberto?
Mirabel.
An honest noble merchant, 'twas my chance
To rescue from some rogues had almost slain him;
And he in kindness to remember this!
Belleur.
Now we shall have you
(For all your protestations, and your forwardness)
Find out strange fortunes in this lady's eyes,
And new enticements to put off your journey;
And who shall have honour then?
Mirabel.
No, no, never fear it:
I must needs see her, to receive my legacy.
Belleur.
If it be tied up in her smock, Heaven help thee!
May not we see too?
Mirabel.
Yes, afore we go:
I must be known myself ere I be able
To make thee welcome. Wouldst thou see more women?
I thought you had been out of love with all.
Belleur.
I may be,
(I find that) with the least encouragement;
Yet I desire to see whether all countries
Are naturally possess'd with the same spirits,
For if they be, I'll take a monastery,
And never travel; for I had rather be a friar,
And live mewed up, than be a fool, and flouted.
Mirabel.
Well, well, I'll meet you anon, then tell you more, boys;
However, stand prepared, prest for our journey;
For certain, we shall go, I think, when I have seen her,
And viewed her well.
Pinac.
Go, go, and we'll wait for ye;
Your fortune directs ours.
Belleur.
You shall find us i' th' tavern.
Lamenting in sack and sugar for our losses.
If she be right Italian, and want servants,
You may prefer the properest man: How I could
Worry a woman now!
Pinac.
Come, come, leave prating:
You may have enough to do, without this boasting.
[Exeunt.