Act 4, Scene II

Scene: A Grove near Nantolet's House.

Enter ROSALURA and LUGIER.

Rosalura.
You have now redeem'd my good opinion, tutor,
And you stand fair again.
Lugier.
I can but labour,
And sweat in your affairs. I am sure Belleur
Will be here instantly, and use his anger,
His wonted harshness.
Rosalura.
I hope he will not beat me.
Lugier.
No, sure, he has more manners. Be you ready!
Rosalura.
Yes, Yes, I am; and am resolved to fit him,
With patience to out-do all he can offer.
But how does Oriana?
Lugier.
Worse, and worse still;
There is a sad house for her; she is now,
Poor lady, utterly distracted.
Rosalura.
Pity!
Infinite pity! 'Tis a handsome lady.
That Mirabel's a beast, worse than a monster,
If this affliction work not.

Enter LILLIA BIANCA.

Lillia-Bianca.
Are You ready?
Belleur is coming on, here, hard behind me:
I have no leisure to relate my fortune;
Only I wish you may come off as handsomely.
Upon the sign you know what.
[Exit.
Rosalura.
Well, well; leave me!

Enter BELLEUR.

Belleur.
How now?
Rosalura.
You are welcome, sir.
Belleur.
'Tis well ye have manners!
That court'sy again, and hold your countenance staidly!
That look's too light; take heed I so, sit ye down now;
And to confirm me that your gall is gone,
Your bitterness dispersed (for so I'll have it)
Look on me steadfastly, and, whatsoever I say to you,
Move not, nor alter in your face; you are gone then!
For if you do express the least distaste,
Or show an angry wrinkle (mark me, woman!
We are now alone) I will so conjure thee,
The third part of my execution
Cannot be spoke.
Rosalura.
I am at your dispose, sir.
Belleur.
Now rise, and woo me a little; let me hear that faculty:
But touch me not; nor do not lie, I charge you!
Begin now.
Rosalura.
If so mean and poor a beauty
May ever hope the grace——
Belleur.
You cog, you flatter!
Like a lewd thing, you lie! “May hope that grace?”
Why, what grace canst thou hope for? Answer not;
For if thou dost, and liest again, I'll swinge thee!
Do not I know thee for a pestilent woman?
A proud at both ends? Be not angry,
Nor stir not o' your life!
Rosalura.
I am counselled, sir.
Belleur.
Art thou not now (confess, for I'll have the truth out)
As much unworthy of a man of merit,
Or any of ye all, nay, of mere man,
Though he were crooked, cold, all wants upon him,
Nay, of any dishonest thing that bears that figure,
As devils are of mercy?
Rosalura.
We are unworthy.
Belleur.
Stick to that truth, and it may chance to save thee.
And is it not our bounty that we take ye?
That we are troubled, vex'd, or tortured with ye,
Our mere and special bounty?
Rosalura.
Yes.
Belleur.
Our pity,
That for your wickedness we swinge ye soundly;
Your stubbornness, and your stout hearts, we belabour ye ?
Answer to that!
Rosalura.
I do confess your pity.
Belleur.
And dost not thou deserve in thine own persons
Thou impudent, thou pert—Do not change countenance!
Rosalura.
I dare not, sir.
Belleur.
For if you do——
Rosalura.
I am settled.
Belleur.
Thou wagtail, peacock, puppy, look on me:
I am a gentleman.
Rosalura.
It seems no less, sir.
Belleur.
And darest thou in thy surquedry——
Rosalura.
I beseech you!
It was my weakness, sir, I did not view you,
I took not notice of your noble parts,
Nor culled your person, nor your proper fashion.
Belleur.
This is some amends yet.
Rosalura.
I shall mend sir, daily,
And study to deserve.
Belleur.
Come a little nearer!
Canst thou repent thy villainy?
Rosalura.
Most seriously.
Belleur.
And be ashamed!
Rosalura.
I am ashamed.
Belleur.
Cry!
Rosalura.
It will be hard to do, sir.
Belleur.
Cry now instantly;
Cry monstrously, that all the town may hear thee;
Cry seriously, as if thou hadst lost thy monkey;
And, as I like thy tears——
Rosalura.
Now!

Enter LILLIA, and four Women laughing.

Belleur.
How! how! do you jeer me?
Have you broke your bounds again, dame?
Rosalura.
Yes, and laugh at you,
And laugh most heartily.
Belleur.
What are these? whirlwinds?
Is hell broke loose, and all the furies flutter'd?
Am I greased once again?
Rosalura.
Yes, indeed are you;
And once again you shall be, if you quarrel!
Do you come to vent your fury on a virgin?
Is this your manhood, sir?
1 Woman.
Let him do his best;
Let's see the utmost of his indignation;
I long to see him angry. Come; proceed, sir.
Hang him, he dares not stir; a man of timber!
2 Woman.
Come hither to fright maids with thy bull-faces?
To threaten grentlewomen! Thou a man? a maypole!
A great dry pudding!
3 Woman.
Come, come, do your worst, sir;
Be angry if thou darest.
Belleur.
The Lord deliver me!
4 Woman.
Do but look scurvily upon this lady,
Or give us one foul word—We are all mistaken;
This is some mighty dairy-maid in man's clothes.
Lillia-Bianca.
I am of that mind too.
Belleur.
What will they do to me?
Lillia-Bianca.
And hired to come and abuse us: A man has manners;
A gentleman, civility and breeding.
Some tinker's trull, with a beard glew'd on.
1 Woman.
Let's search him,
And as we find him——
Belleur.
Let me but depart from ye,
Sweet Christian women!
Lillia-Bianca.
Hear the thing speak, neighbours.
Belleur.
'Tis but a small request: If e'er I trouble ye,
If e'er I talk again of beating women,
Or beating anything that can but turn to me;
Of ever thinking of a handsome lady
But virtuously and well, of ever speaking
But to her honour—This I'll promise ye,
I will take rhubarb, and purge choler mainly.
Abundantly I'll purge.
Lillia-Bianca.
I'll send you broths, sir.
Belleur.
I will be laugh'd at, and endure it patiently;
I will do anything!
Rosalura.
I'll be your bail then.
When you come next to woo, pray you come not boisterously,
And furnish'd like a bear-ward.
Belleur.
No, in truth, forsooth.
Rosalura.
I scented you long since.
Belleur.
I was to blame, sure;
I will appear a gentleman.
Rosalura.
'Tis the best for you,
For a true noble gentleman's a brave thing.
Upon that hope, we quit you. You fear seriously?
Belleur.
Yes, truly do I; I confess I fear you,
And honour you, and anything!
Rosalura.
Farewell then!
Women.
And when you come to woo next, bring more mercy!
[Exeunt Rosalura and Women.

Enter two Gentlemen.

Belleur.
A dairy-maid! a tinker's trull! Heaven bless me!
Sure, if I had provoked 'em, they had quarter'd me.
I am a most ridiculous ass, now I perceive it;
A coward, and a knave too.
1 Gentleman.
'Tis the mad gentleman;
Let's set our faces right.
Belleur.
No, no; laugh at me,
And laugh aloud.
2 Gentleman.
We are better manner'd, sir.
Belleur.
I do deserve it; call me patch, and puppy,
And beat me, if you please.
1 Gentleman.
No, indeed; we know you.
Belleur.
'Death, do as I would have ye!
2 Gentleman.
You are an ass then,
A coxcomb, and a calf!
Belleur.
I am a great calf,
Kick me a little now: Why, when? Sufficient.
[They kick him.
Now laugh aloud, and scorn me; so God b' wi' ye!
And ever when ye meet me, laugh.
1 Gentleman.
We will, sir.
[Exeunt.